The 12 Gifts of Christmas

Emma Shaughnessy '20, Features Editor

The Christmas season is in full swing and the pressure of finding the perfect gift is ON. Are you obligated to buy a Secret Santa gift for someone you barely know? Or maybe you want to give a loved one a meaningful present and seeking inspiration. If either of these examples sound like you, you’ve come to the right place! Get ready to have your mind blown by this 12 Days of Christmas gift guide to cover all your gift giving needs. 


  1. The Angsty Teen

Let’s be real… we all know at least one defiant teen who thinks they are “too cool” for everything. How someone could be too cool for Christmas is beyond me, but regardless, they still need a present. Teens are all about keeping up with the latest trends, so my best suggestion for this gift recipient would be to do some research. Champion sweatshirts, Nike Airforce 1 sneakers, and disposable cameras are currently all the rage. Get your angsty teen one of these, and they are guaranteed to crack a smile!


  1. The Theater Geek

Next, we have the Theater Geek: the person who is always singing show tunes in the shower or memorizing lines in class. To help them expand on the musical talents, I suggest buying them something music related (duh!). Much to the dismay of the older generations, record players are back in style. So hit up your local record shop (Dave’s Music Mine in the South Side is my go to) and buy your music fanatic a stellar record collection. 


  1. The Sports Fanatic

Living in the 412, you can’t go wrong with some Steelers, Pirates, or Penguins memorabilia, even for a non-sports fanatic. If your going down to Dave’s Music Mine in the South Side, why not make the most of your trip and stop by the 412 store, too? The products are definitely on the pricier side, but a classic baseball cap or t-shirt would be the perfect gift for someone who bleeds black and gold. 


  1. The Tom Boy

If you don’t personally identity as a Tom Boy, this present might be hard for you to think of. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: this is actually the easiest gift of them all. If they abide by the traditional “Tom Boy” stereotype, buy them something simple like a sweatshirt or slides for after sports practice. Because let’s be real, who doesn’t like to show off their newest gear to their teammates?


  1. The Girly Girl

With a Girly Girl, there are TONS of options: makeup from Sephora or Ulta, a mani-pedi treatment at your local spa, a cute leather handbag, or a pair of studded booties. All are great options, but Girly Girls tend to have their own unique taste, so make sure you buy a gift that reflects their personal style!


  1. The Person who owns everything

We all know that one person who buys the newest pair of Raybans or Adidas sneakers the second they are released. I feel your pain. These people may seem like they are absolutely impossible to please. My best advice for this person would be to ask their closest friends and family members what they want and go from there. 


  1. The “I don’t want anything” but actually wants something

This might be the toughest of them all. And I’ll cue you in on a secret, I’m currently in the same boat as you. Rather than just brushing them aside, I’ve spent the past couple of days asking them questions and paying close attention to their responses to see what they might want. They may say they don’t want anything, but a small gift that aligns with their interests would mean a lot (even if they don’t ask for it). 


  1. The Romantic

For all the Love Actually fans out there – think when the best friend shows up at Keira Knightly’s house with large signs and music to profess his love for her. Maybe don’t do something that creepy (unless your significant other is into that), but BIG romantic gestures are definitely the way to go. Create a scrapbook, make a video to your favorite song, write them a song if you are musically inclined. Do anything to show them that you truly care about your relationship!


  1. The Distant Relative

Do you have no idea what to buy for your second cousin, Bobby, or once removed Aunt Linda that you only see once a year? Well, you’re not alone. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t put a lot of thought into their present, but it wouldn’t be rude of you to put in slightly less effort than the rest. I’m thinking a simple frame and picture of you together from last Christmas. Just remember to take a picture every year to recycle the gift. 


  1. The Secret Santa 

If you aren’t the best of friends with the person you have to buy a Secret Santa gift for, go with a simple, handcrafted gift like a miniature sleigh of chocolate candy or a snowman mug filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows. They will appreciate the effort you put into the gift and the food. 


  1. The Weird Uncle (or any strange family member)

If you’re giving a family member the title of “Weird Uncle,” they’ll probably appreciate a weird present. The first thing that comes to my mind is that oversized t-shirt with a picture of abs on the front. Then your uncle can make a weird uncle joke about his “6-pack” and everyone will be happy! 


  1. The Grinch

Finally, what on Earth do you buy for the anti-Christmas spawn of the Grinch? To give you one piece of obvious advice, do NOT buy anything Christmas related. Avoid anything green and red at all costs, even if it’s just a pair of socks. But now that I think of it, socks might actually be the perfect present for your neighborhood Grinch. Maybe having warm feet will put them in a better mood… 


I hope you were able to draw some inspiration from this satirical, yet informative, gift giving guide. Best of luck to all those braving the chaotic shopping malls this Christmas season, and happy holidays!